In my book (click on title): “How to Successfully Handle Aggressive, Intimidating, and Controlling People” you'll learn how to maintain composure, ways to be proactive instead of reactive, fifteen powerful strategies to disarm controlling tactics, eight ways to say “no” diplomatically but firmly, and seven types of power you can utilize to compel cooperation. One boss I worked for ran a very small company - about 20 people. I have experienced many of these techniques as the daughter of a hyper-controlling, domineering, personality-disordered mother and from a few (thankfully only a few) bosses I've had.
Also available: (click on titles): “How to Let Go of Negative Thoughts and Emotions” Follow me on Twitter, Facebook, and Linked In! Most people were crammed into inadequate little rooms and little desks, while the king had a gigantic office, desk, and chair. Understanding that these are techniques can help you to withstand them, but if you are in the position of being dependent on the person utilizing these domineering techniques, you're pretty much screwed.
You only have the power to ignore or deflect or be non-reactive to power-and-control manipulations if you have nothing to lose: if you're willing to walk away from the potential deal or the relationship, with little if any harm to you, then you have leveled the playing field.
A mentor once told me that she never buys from someone who doesn’t ask for the sale.
By constantly marginalizing, ridiculing, and dismissing you, she or he keeps you off-balance and maintains her superiority.
The aggressor deliberately fosters the impression that there’s always something wrong with you, and that no matter how hard you try, you are inadequate and will never be good enough.
Questions are more likely answered with greater care and detail. Strength and Intimidation in Numbers Some aggressors like to dominate a situation by having a number of associates or friends present to support her or his position.
The superior numbers alone may constitute an intimidating presence.
By making you look bad, and getting you to feel bad, the aggressor hopes to impose psychological superiority over you. Constantly Judge and Criticize You to Make You Feel Inadequate Distinct from the previous behavior where negative humor is used as a cover, here the aggressor outright picks on you.It can also be used by individuals who are highly control-oriented in business, domestic, and other situations. I've had a more than a few controlling bosses with tiny windowless offices but have had really big chairs.Excluding professions which may need this type of behavior to do their jobs (such as law enforcement, security, military, patient care, and risk-oriented activities), excessive and repeated control of someone’s behavior without valid reason could be considered forms of bullying and abuse. Threatening Unreasonable Consequence(s) Some people try to intimidate by threatening any number of consequences that will fall upon you if you don’t comply with their wishes. Copyright violation may subject the violator to legal prosecution. I've often wondered about those chairs, how they got them.The aggressive voice is frequently combined with strong body language such as standing or excited gestures to increase impact. Losing Patience and/or Threatening to Walkout Similar to raising one’s voice, losing patience and threatening to walk out are classic power play tactics to pressure a recipient to conform and give in.The more attached (especially emotionally) the recipient is to the situation, the more likely this type of coercion can succeed. Negative Humor Designed to Poke at Your Weaknesses and Disempower You Some aggressors like to make critical remarks, often disguised as humor, to make you seem inferior and less secure.
— Paramhansa Yogananda Most of us come across difficult personalities at some points in our lives.