Do dating couples argue
Two people who go into their marriage knowing that they can stay connected despite conflict have a much better chance of staying married. I agree with most of the points made in this article.So, fighting before marriage is indeed a very good thing. However, why is the divorce rate so high, when it seems like most couples today live together or date for several years before getting married?In fact, I strongly recommend that couples in the pre-marital phase of their relationship proactively ask each other lots of hard questions to set off some hidden land mines before they consider marriage.Couples that set off some land mines up front benefit from some of the protection that comes from the tendency to idealize each other in the first stage of love.Does each of you feel like you had influence on the other person and on the decided outcome?Being mindful of how the process of conflict feels is critical to assessing the true potential of a developing love relationship.
In other words, do you, as a couple, feel confident that you can work through conflict productively?
They have a much better idea of who they are marrying and are much less likely to experience major disillusionment after marriage.
So, the presence of fighting before marriage often signals that a couple has probably transitioned (or is transitioning) into the “Testing” Phase of a relationship.
Compatibility of personality, beliefs, core values, and goals shows up with greater clarity during conflict.
One hallmark of the cocaine-rush phase is that both partners selectively filter for evidence that each is the “perfect match” for the other.
The first year is the hardest, as the saying goes.”* In my role as a marital counselor, I often hear that the first two years of marriage are experienced in one of two extreme ways.