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Find someone who's easy to talk to, subjectively attractive — and by that, I mean someone are personally attracted to regardless of what's considered socially acceptable attractiveness — and just pleasant to be around overall. Claus, owner of Dating Kinky.com, suggests chatting them up first, whether it's online or in person.If you're looking to get down and dirty with someone you already know (perhaps a friend or co-worker), you should first talk about how a one-night stand might affect your friendship, Kors says.
"The last thing you want is to have hot sex and then worry if you'll catch something after," Yue Xu, dating expert and host of the Date/able Podcast, tells Bustle.
"Recognize this for what it is and resist the temptation to attach meaning to it that doesn’t exist," she says. "Vulnerability is an undeniable part of the experience," Kors says.
"We rob ourselves of meaningful connection when we assign false meaning to an experience." Of course, if you get a mutual friendship (or even a relationship) out of the one-night stand, all the better. A one-night stand can be a chance for you to get wild and let your inner sex god(dess) loose, Claus says. Roleplay, get it on with new sex positions, or even adopt a personality that's completely different from your own. "If we deny this reality, we miss the opportunity for meaningful connection.
Whatever you do, try not to judge yourself during a hookup or think about what your parents, your friends, or other people who are irrelevant to the situation, would say if they knew.
"Get clear with yourself that you are okay with a one-night stand and leave what others might think out of it," Kors says.
"If you go into it expecting just a one-night stand, one and done, it'll feel much more liberating," she says.