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Before telling you about the mistakes expats often make when dating a Dutch man, here’s a story about an incident in Amsterdam.A female friend and sometimes running partner of the Shallow Man was having a massage in a place in the Rivierenbuurt.Therefore, at considerable risk to my bespoke tailored three-piece suit wearing self, I have put together a list of deadly mistakes to avoid when dating Dutch men.

The Shallow Man is risking a storm of abuse by bringing this up again, but, I’ve been told repeatedly by expat women, even as recently as yesterday (thank you Vittoria) that Dutch men are tighter than a virgin female flea.

The previously charming Dutchmen then breaks out into a cold sweat and looks at the bill, at you, at the bill, then at you again, and there is a silence so deep that you can hear the female mice in the cafe coughing. Do not under any circumstances expect him to pay your part of the bill.

This is indeed a deadly mistake, if you are hoping to see your Dutch lion again, be a good antelope and suggest quickly that you’ll split the bill.

Dutch women, are often very blunt in their intentions and don’t waste time with such things as flirting.

If a woman flirts with a Dutch man the likely response will be “so are we going to your place or mine?

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